Patterns of Sexual Bondage

Over the years I have noticed patterns of behavior that spring from sexual immorality. If young Christian ladies are violated against their will, they have a tendency to shut down sexually. Even should they marry a nice Christian man, they don’t seem to enjoy an intimate sexual relationship. Some become frigid, and feel dirty when touched. I believe that is the case because they didn’t know how to resolve the sexual abuse. To be free from their past, they need to forgive the offenders, and renounce those sexual uses of their body, and ask God to break the bond that may or may not exist.

If young ladies voluntarily participate with sexual abusers the opposite happens. They can’t seem to stop having sex. One lady had a father who was a merchant marine who was gone most of the time. From about the age of twelve she started to have sex with him. She thought it was the only way of getting close to her father. When she approached me at a conference, I could sense an overwhelming spirit of lust. She wasn’t particularly attractive, but everything about her was sexual. I had a female colleague sit in with me as I took her through the Steps to Freedom. She couldn’t remember the names of the men she had encounters with, because there were so many. She didn’t particularly enjoy it, but she couldn’t stop having sex. Now she can!

Men can bond as well, but not in the same way. Some can become sex slaves to a “harlot,” but all struggle with lust, which no person can satisfy. Some will get married hoping that their spouse will resolve their struggle with lust, but that is impossible. Only Christ can resolve that, and it is degrading to expect a wife to be the ultimate sex partner of perverted fantasies.

A fine Christian couple asked us for help. They were both committed Christians, but they just didn’t seem to connect in their marriage. We arranged for each of them to have a freedom appointment. Both had dated someone else for three years before they met and were married. Each renounced their sexual experiences with their “first love,” and gave their bodies to God as living sacrifices. The next morning they approached me hand in hand with big smiles on their faces. He said, “That we the most wonderful night that we have ever had together since we were married.” It is amazing what freedom brings.

Dr. Neil

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